Surface features Rewrite
Hola stunning readers,
In my class we are learning about surface features, so we have had to check a piece of writing for pieces of punctuation, capitals and spelling. Why are we doing this? so that we are making sure that we rereading and using are surface features after our sentences. This is an idea of what writing would look like with out surface features: thissentsaChulymakessen Zbuttisrellyhrd to reed
On our room 9 writing site our teacher put on a link with a story. In the link that we had to make a copy then fix and add surface features. We first had to read the story once then find the ends of the sentences. Then we had to write it a second time to find the repeated words in the story.
Here is the original
He kept absolutely still as the footsteps got louder he tried not to suffocate as he laid under the bed he was wondering what had happened to his brother and his family. The man with the knife in his hand stormed around the house. Mums had boyfriends before but we had not thought that they would ever find us maybe he was one of them looking for revenge but why would he come. mum would just move and how did he find us we live on the other side of the planet from where all of mums boyfriends were so how could he find us he might have put a tracker on mum when he last saw her or on one of the devises ‘Hello where are you I know your here you're going to tell me where you're mother is or you shall join your father... in the skies so which will it be death or freedom you have 10 seconds chose wisely’.
Here my fix story
Bob kept absolutely still as the footsteps got louder. He tried not to suffocate as Bob laid under the bed. Bob was wondering what had happened to his brother and his family. The man with the knife in his hand stormed around the house.
Mum has had boyfriends before but we had not thought that they would ever find us. Maybe he was one of them looking for revenge.But why would he come?. Mum would just move. How did he find us? We live on the other side of the planet from where all of mum's boyfriends were. So how could he find us? The man might have put a tracker on mum when he last saw her or on one of her devises.
“Hello, where are you? I know you’re here, you're going to tell me where your mother is or you shall join your father... in the skies, so which will it be, death or freedom you have ten seconds to choose wisely.”
It became super fun to do rewriting and fixing a story. My teacher said that this story is from a year 6 she was with 2 years ago. This story looked good but needed some surface features.
😁Bye and commemt 😁
